Family: Phrynosomatidae Order: Squamata Class: Reptilia
Tony is a solid name–tough and simple, like a horned lizard should be. I would pass my days soaking up the blistering desert sun, digging in the sand, and waiting for ants, which are my main source of sustenance. Life in the desert is harsh, but I would be ready. My large, flat body and sandy hue would keep me concealed, and if I ever found myself in a jam, I would have a few tricks up my sleeve. First, I would freeze, hoping my camouflage would save me. If that failed, I’d puff up to make myself big and hard to swallow. And if a predator actually went ahead and made a lunge to bite, I’d use my last trick—one that only the most powerful horned lizards can manage. I would shoot a little blood out of my eyes, just enough to make an attacker think twice about biting. But honestly, I would not wish to be a bother. I would stay in my own corner of desert, enjoying the hot sun, an occasional gentle breeze, and the ever-present plenty of ants which are my sustenance. Life as Tony the Horny Toad would be uncomplicated, peaceful, and appropriate to the one place I would ever need—the wide, open desert.
